| Relaxing |
| One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question. Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. |
| A Sardarji and an American |
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands theamerican $5,and goes back to sleep. |
| Santa Singh Needed Some Money |
Santa Singh needed some money desperately. Someone told him that if goes & prays at Gurudwara, Mosque, Church & a temple, that his prayers will surely be answered. So Santa goes to a Gurudwara, & prays there. Then he goes to a Mosque and prays there. Than he goes to a church and prays there. Then he goes to a Shiv temple. The temple had a large Lord Shiva statue. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer.
Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Saannoo 100 rupayen chahiye. Kirpa karo."
The priest saw Santa praying. He wante to help Santa, but knew that a Sikh will never accept the money. So he drops a 100 rupee note, from behind the statue, so that Santa can not see him.
After Santa had said his prayers, and opened his eyes. He saw the note and thought that god has listened to his prayers. He takes the note and goes away. However he is back again next day for money. Now the priest is really annoyed with Santa. The Priest decides that he is not going to give any more money to Santa.
He changes the big Shivji statue with smaller one of Ganapathi that day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he does not notice the difference. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Ajj to saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money.
Santa: "O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo jee." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money. He slowly raises his head and now notices that small Ganapthi statue. He carefully looks left and than right, & than slowly moves a bit forward near the statue. Than he whispers to the Statue: "Beta, Papa kitthe hai?!?!! |
| James bond |
On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style,
"......James Bond."
Then Bond asks: "And you?"
Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."
Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James Bond" |
| Hindi Translation |
CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita
CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita
TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe le takaatak de takaatak
LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par le tada tad, de tada tad
LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak
TIE : Kanth Langoti....(best one)
MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti
TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa
TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti
TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini
ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra
RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda
BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak
MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev |
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| Boy & girl |
Boy & girl in a restaurant:
Boy- mein aakhri baar pooch raha hoon. Tum mujhse shaadi karogi ya nahi?
Girl-Nahi.
Boy-Soch lo?
Girl: Keh diya na, nahi
Boy- Waiter, Bill alag alag laana. |
| Answers to Romantic Questions |
A few answers to some romantic questions!
Kyon chalti hai pawan ?
because of evaporation
kyon jhoome hai gagan ?
because of earth's revolution
kyon machalta hai mann ?
because of excessive respiration
na tum janno na hum ?
but i just gave all the answers
kyon aati hai bahar ?
because of change in season
kyon lutata hai kaarar ?
becuase of mental tension
kyon hota hai pyaar ?
because of fatal attraction
na tum janno na hum ?
like i said these are all science phenomena
kyon gum hai har disha ?
because u have lost the sense of direction
kyon hota hai nasha ?
because of drug addiction
kyon aata hai maza?
because of food's temptation
na tum janno na hum?
but i just gave all the answers |
| Jokes |
Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?
Banta: 1 Frog.
Santa: Theek hai hor das?
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa
Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha
Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo |
| Santa Banta |
Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se.
Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai...
Santa's son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain.
Banta's son: How?
Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri ungli pakad lete hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat |
| Laloo |
Laloo snt his BioData 4 a post in Microsoft USA. Few days l8r he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Laloo jumped wid joy. He arranged a press conference-
Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai.Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad -Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement -humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained -bahut khaatir kee jayegi |
| Kahani |
ek kahani sunoge.......suno......
ek tha raja...
ek thi rani....
dono marr gaye...
khatam kahani... [:P]
ab neeche kya unko laash dhoond rahe ho??????? [:P] [:P] [:P] |
| Nonsense |
Jo....
Ho.... Gaya.....
Wo.... Ho.... Gaya.....
Jo.....
Hona.... Hoga....
Wo.... Hoga....
Aur .....Jo
Nahi... Hona... Hai
Wo.... Nahi.... Hoga....
Kyun....kay... Jo...
Hona.... Hai...
Wo... To...
Hoga... Hi.... Hoga....
Ab... Dekhna.... Hai....
Kay.... Kya....
Hoga.....?...
Aur....
Kya....Nahi....
Hoga....
Hone.... Ko.... To...
Kuch..... Bhi.....
Hoga....
Yahi.... Sochna.... Hai....
Kay... Kiya...
Hoga......?
Aur..... Kya... Hoga....
Agar...
Kuch..... Hoga.... To.....
Theek... Hoga....
Aur....
Nahi.... Hoga....
To.... Bhi...
Theek.... Hoga....
Theek... Hoga... To....
Kis...
taarhan.. Say....
Hoga....
Aur....
agar...
Theek....Nahi... Hoga...
To.... Kuch..
Kaisay... Theek.... Hoga.....?...
Ab.... Aap.... Batao.... Kay...
Aage...
Kiya... Hoga?..
kisi..
aur..
ko..
tum,..bhi..bhejo,..
acchha....time pass hoga |
| Gabbar (Sholay) |
Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, ab jaldi karo, mujhe apni goli maar do!!!!!! |
| How r u??? |
Murgi anda deti hai
anda to safed hota hai
safed to dhood bhi hota hai
lekin dhood to bhains deti hai
lekin bhains to kali hoti hai
kala to bangali hota hai
bangali to paan khata hai
paan to lal hota hai
lal to gulab hota hai
gulab main to kante hote hai
kante to machli main bhi hote hai
lekin machli to achhi hoti hai
achha to aadmi bhi hota hai
lekin aadmi to lamba hota hai
lamba to ye scrap bhi hai
lekin mujhe usase kya
mujhe to tumhara dimag khana tha kha liya
ab yeh batao kaise ho |
| Sheo-o-shairy |
ISHQ KA JAHA BHI NAAM HOTA HAI
TADPNA SISKNA AAM HOTA HAI
KHUSHNASEEB KO ISHQ HO HI NHI SAKTA............
YEH TO BADNASEEBO KA KAAM HOTA HAI................
WQT HONA CHAHIYE KISI KO YAAD KRNE K LIYE,
BAHANA TO APNE AAP MIL JATA HAI..........
JAB YAAD HI NA KRNA HO KISIKO,
TO WQT HI BAHANA BN JATA HAI............ |
| Friends |
Khushi bhi doston se hai
Gam bhi doston se hai
Takraar bhi doston se hai
Pyar bhi doston se hai
Roothna bhi doston se hai
Manana bhi doston se hai
Baat bhi doston se hai
Misaal bhi doston se hai
Nasha bhi doston se hai
Shaam bhi doston se hai
Zindagi ki shuruvaat bhi doston se hai
Zindagi main mulakaat bhi doston se hai
Mohabbat bhi doston se hai
Inaayat bhi doston se hai
Kaam bhi doston se hai
Naam bhi doston se hai
Khyal bhi doston se hai
Armaan bhi doston se hai
Khvab bhi doston se hai
Maahol bhi doston se hai
Yaadein bhi doston se hai
Mulakaatein bhi doston se hai
Sapne bhi doston se hain
Apne bhi doston se hai
Ya yoon kahoon yaro
Apni to duniya hi doston se hai ................ |
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